Christmachine Says: You Have To Suffer To Be Beautiful ~ I Do Give Many Fecks!

Christmachine Says: You Have To Suffer To Be Beautiful ~ I Do Give Many Fexs!

Photo Courtesy Of Doc Keyaza!


I know I’ve been a lazy sloth as far as this site is considered, but as you know I’m always really busy.  When I left you last I was confused on which direction I should take this space.  Seeing that we are now in ‘el mondo bizarro’, anything goes.  Really anything – and since I have been gone, I’ve had the chance to grow a beautiful shell for all to see.

Pretty meta already right…I’m using all the new cool language and phrases to be lit and all, it’s not all that bad.  I won’t plaster the hell out of it.  I’ll never forget when my old flatmate called me from San Francisco years ago and said…(Love her to death by the way), “Have you heard the new hot phrase going round?” I replied douchilly, “N, No, What?” She continued,  “You know how we say that something is ‘Off the hook!’. OH no I thought, here it comes…She says, “Well that’s ‘out’ now…the new thing to say is, “That’s off the chain!” She’s reading this at some point, and will kick my arse for it. Remember honey badger don’t give a shit, right!  Nah, jk…I asked her and she said it was okay to write it…sometimes ya just have to take the piss…and a good laugh.

So to reiterate things are going to be ‘Off the chain’ around here.’  I know I’ve said similar things before and I wanked off.  Anyway It only took me a year to figure it all out (well, three really if you count the two years I was flailing around), to make this place a bit more humming the than the graveyard state it’s in now.

Anyhow the way I look at it is – Have you ever seen a cemetary in Iceland?  Well if you have not you are missing out.  If you drive by the grave yard in holiday season you will be tickled to see all the headstones have decorations and christmas lights.  It’s really a great idea, methinks you’ll agree.  Most people are all to serious and morbid about graveyards, everywhere else, I prefer to cheer and join the party hoping one day to make it to VAlhalla. So yes, in short I must win you back and get back to polishing the turd.

It’s quite strange though I must say, when I look at the site statistics…a lot more people have been coming here since I took a break.  Lots!  Oh well they’ll have to get used to me being around again.

Since I have been gone…I rewired my brain as I am studying several languages at once. I learned all of the album Metallica – Master Of Puppets on guitar.  I listened to thousands of Podcasts and mixes. Got deep into Classical Music….very deep!  I became a blacksmith and jeweler just for the LULz.  Became a chord cutter…I have internet in all it’s glory, yes…but tv was such a mind suck.  Don’t worry I will not preach…I do watch tons of stuff on the web and OTA anyway and there’s always Apple TV (First Gen Rules) and Netflix.  I travel a lot so I was throwing hundreds out the window each month for nothing.  Now I’m set up on the go.  Tons and tons of vinyl rips ready to be written about, though I will do it differently this time.

I was a Pono beta tester and will get into all of that.  I decided to spend a lot more time in Cuba…awesome until we love the fuck out of it and ruin it all.  I will be spending a  lot more time in Portugal this year and will finally make it to Brazil, to see friends in Sao Paulo. I know I skint the tilda over the “a”…I don’t know the shortcut for it on my computer…only mobile, Me da licensa, Por favor, Brazilaira(o)s!  I will leave out the forward and backward accents as well as umlauts and others for now, but I will make figuring it out a priority.  Anyway so that people know, I can speak fluent Spanish (been speaking it for many years)… so people can contact me that way.

You know how I go big when it comes to things and then crash and burn the hell out.  I also for years have been speaking several other languages.  Spanish, (Mexicano, Cubano, Latino (PR & DR) y America Del Sur (No Quetchan, Sorry), & EU Esp) and have been learning Occitan, Galician, and Catalan! Oieeeee, jajajaja, jejejejeje, jkjkjkjkjk!  So now I have been going heavy on Portuguese (Br & Port, N. Africa) via Spanish, not English…It’s easier that way…for me anyway.  Add Standard German and Italian.  Also for several years I have been studying Nederlands (Dutch).  Those are the languages that I can speak, write, and read.



For the fun of it, I found after learning all the Romance languages (except Romanian) that I can read and speak(somewhat ;P) on a basic level in Latin, French, Luxembourgish, High (Basel) German, Ostereich, Flemish, Lichtensteinish, as well as several other dialects – too many to name.  Oh yeah I almost forgot islenska.  So yeah, I consider myself a linguist more than a polyglot as I learn languages as a result of where each language takes me.

So anyone can contact me in their native tongue, I would prefer it actually, It will help me stay current, fresh, and minty.  Correct me as well please, I will not take offense.  To make things funner[sic] I have to learn all those language abbreviations for Acronyms…i.e Obrigad(v) – Obg, Beijos – Bjs, etc. when people message or email me.  Love it! heh.

Finally I have been writing every day over the past year so I have tons of stuff to share…as well as reviews…vinyl, flora, fauna, languages, podcasts, mixes, tracks, music composition, art, metallurgy, rigs, photo, video, travel, novel(s), nootropics, neurology, pharmacology, malarkey, shenanigans, as well as other assorted miscellany.  So don’t take  my word for it—- I’ll work for results it’s only fair.

Just a word on Social Media, Contact me via twitter pm or here in the contact area by email….and I will respond as soon as I can…right away if I can.  If I’m in a place with shitty internet give 24 hrs please.  I go off the grid quite often and ad hoc networks are not up to snuff yet. Also for more you can reach the archives forever, just google “christmachine”, I consider my google images page a work of art.

Also there are many new people here, so they’re seeing everything as if I started yesterday…lucky them right, leave the old skool people here on the hook. WTF? I know I suck ass.  Queue the rotten tomatoes and Romaine…go ahead get it all out now.  Free throws for the next few days.  I love you all and appreciate your kindness…be good to each other.  If not me, then give someone you see in your daily life (that you would not ordinarily)  a smile.  It will make their life better as well as yours.  It’s contagious and it spreads as many are having a rough go at life, in these strange times indeed.

With all the fucking terror, death, and chaos of 2016…we even lost Lemmy, Prince and Bowie!  I’m happy that we can get on with 2017 already.  If you see racism, hate, sexism, etc. call it out.  I know I, the Iron Viking Infidel would gladly take a bullet…you think I’m kidding, I made the decision a long time ago…my life to save someone else or more (I’m ready in an instant)…It’s not altruism, It’s a fucking calling…for reals!

Peace and love!

P.S.~ The ‘dark site’ IS in maintenance mode right now and for a while as it undergoes renovation.  I have Ideeeeaaaz.  The links to the night site from here ‘teh day site’ may still get you there, if not it will be up as soon as I get it finished.

See Ya Zooon!


CM ☕


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Thanks as always for your support~

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©2017 Christmachine ☕

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