Photographer Doc Keyaza …Doc’s Shots Series Archive #18 [Sample Gallery Mega Post]

Photographer Doc Keyaza …Doc’s Shots Series Archive #18 [Sample Gallery Mega Post]

 

Today Up On Christmachine Audio Reference Music Server :

 

 

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc Keyaza !

Time for another Doc Keyaza Photo Post! I want to welcome my new followers from Twitter and the interwebs. As I said before we have so much amazing history to show in photos. This post is only another sampling of the 1000′s of amazing and rare photos I have from the Doctor which he has bestowed upon us! If you see a photo you know already, the doctor had his hands involved in it or at least through his friendship with the great Ross Halfin and other of our generations greatest music photographers. It’s going to take me years to post the best and I’m honored to do it here. One day Doc will be known more for his art than his real job, lead rigger for “The Monster”. So here we will publicly post and archive his Art of Photography.

 

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https://twitter.com/Christ_Machine

Thanks For Reading and as always for you’re support…Now we can get down to business!

 

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You ain’t seen nuthin yet!

Thanks Doc your the bestest.

 

Thanks, as always, for your support.

Cheers and Bless Bless!

CM ☕

 

Please do not reproduce this article either all or in part without the expressed written permission of the author who can be reached via the “Contact” section in the header menu. You may link to the article if you wish, all that we ask is that you give credit to the respective author…”Christmachine” wherever you post a link. Thank you.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2015 Christmachine. All Rights Reserved.

©2014 – 2020 Christmachine ☕

Almost killed / Locked Up Abroad. Escape From Mexico…A Country I Love, Part 1 Of 3…

Almost killed / Locked Up Abroad. Escape From Mexico…A Country I Love, Part 1 Of 3…

Today Up On Christmachine Audio Reference Music Server :

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT SHOCK YOUR SELF WITH ELECTRICITY OR DO WHAT I DID AT HOME, YOU COULD BE KILLED. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. I UNDERSTAND ELECTRIC CURRENT PROPERTIES AND WAS TAKING MEASURED RISK. AGAIN DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I KNOW IT’S BIZARRE THAT I EVEN HAVE TO WRITE THIS. RAWR !!!

It was another beautiful day in San Diego California. Every day is beautiful in San Diego, 4563rtwell that’s not completely true, but for most of the year the weather is fabulous.  One of the things that people from Southern California like to do is go south of the border into Mexico / Baja California.  I have a great fondness for Mexico always have and I always will.  The people, the food, the culture…what’s not to like.  Some people say that Baja California does not give you the full Mexican experience, and I agree with that.  Comparing Mexico City to Tijuana is a whole different ballgame for sure.  For us though, to walk over the border was a fun escape to another world.   Today also would be one of those days where I would come close to death but who would have thought.  I have been to Mexico many times, before and after this incident…and I will always continue to go.  This day though would be one I will never forget.

So on that morning we walked to downtown San Diego to the West Broadway Train Depot, and caught the next trolley for the short ride to San Ysidro.  San Ysidro is the end of the Trolley line and also adjacent to the US / Mexico border.  When we got off the train everyone would just head en mass to the maze of stairwells and tunnels that take you into Tijuana.  Sometimes we would go farther south to other towns like Ensenada where you could get a hotel and all you’re food for the day  for 20-30 dollars US.  In fact we knew a 76687juTurnCRPfew Americans who would live in places like Ensenada and come over the border to San Diego every day for work.  The reason being that you could live so much cheaper there than in the US.  Anyway walking over the border was an easy experience at the time, as immigration did not check our passports leaving the US, only when coming back from Mexico into the US.  So no hassles at all…smooth like butter.

So after traversing the maze of tunnels we would come out to a large open square made of granite stone and instantly on the other side of the square we are bombarded with people holding signs to try and get you into there stores selling everything from pharmaceuticals to souvenirs to alcohol “For Cheap”.  All the seasoned visitors know that this is not the place to but any cheap goods, they get cheaper the farther you get into Mexico and everything is up for negotiation.  You walk away after a bit of interest and they will drop the price often down 75% or to what you are offering.  With that said there are a lot of counterfeit goods, just as there are on the streets of New York City.  You have to know what to look for in quality so you don’t get taken.  Most of you already know this though I’m sure.

After you get through the square, you come to a taxi area that looks like some scene reminiscent of Mumbai, India.  Hundreds of cabs and their drivers all vying for your business.  Since it’s a short walk to Downtown Tijuana, there is no need to take a cab.  Next comes the walk over the footbridge which is a bit sad because there are young children selling things like packs of gum and pulling on your arm as if you did not notice them.  Their mothers sit in the crevices of the footbridge watching that there children are persistent. It’s not overwhelming but it gives you a real indication that you are in a whole different world in terms of poverty.  The footbridge goes over a large dry aqueduct (like the type you see in movies in LA) and is the real demarcation between the US and Mexico.

After walking down the street southward we come to “The Arch” that welcomes you into Tijuana proper.  This is where we come to the main drag which is a left turn into the bustling city, reminiscent of Downtown Istanbul with with a Spaghetti Western flair.  This is the main marketplace and you can find just about anything here, again everyone vying for your business and aimed toward the college students or people trying to avoid the official drinking age in the US.  Loud music is blaring from the different clubs and bars 24 hours a day…it just never seems to end, kind of like a more lawless version of Las Vegas.

As we stroll we look at all the goods for sale and stop if we find something interesting, but our real aim is the food.  Rule #1 always drink sealed bottled water and stay away from anything that contains ice. Bottled beverages are always the way to go, that are kept cold.  Avoid ice sold at the street vendors in anything from drinks to shaved ice…I have broken that rule before and did not get sick, but I have seen too many people that have so take it as you wish.

We then arrive at our favorite hole in the wall taco stand.  We know it’s great because it is packed as always and the cooks make your food right in front of you either at the bar or in the several booths inside.  The food moves quicker than they can sell it, it does not have a chance to sit out in the open for more than a few moments.  There is another station where a woman is cooking fresh corn and flour tortilla floutas.  The smell is glorious.  So as we walk in we grab either a bottled water or a Mexican Fanta made with real cane sugar, in those old style soda bottles with a cap that needs a bottle opener (Or the lighter trick).  There is a bottle opener conveniently on the wall right by the cooler.  We order the carne asada and carnitas tacos with everything, and tell the waitress to please keep them coming.  They come quick and fit perfect in the hand. Topped with melted cheese, red onion, cilantro, and lots of fresh squeezed lime juice. There are two large self serve 45635lkCRPsalsa’s on each table one with salsa verde and the other a roja salsa caliente…do you like it hot or hotter, hmmm choices, choices.  Latino music plays in the loud and there are three people just randomly dancing in the small ailes.It is then one realizes that they are immersed in a fabulous culture.  It’s heaven Jerry, just heaven!

So after wolfing down as many tacos as possible we ask for la billete and it comes in at just under 20 dollars US.  Where can four people eat all the endless fresh taco’s made right in front of you, with water and sodas for under 20 bucks in the US?  So after we pay our bill, we head out to wander the streets in search of the unique sights, sounds, and aromas of this amazing country.  Sure some of it is a bit camp and touristy, but the deeper you look…the more you find things that you do not need but must have.

As we walk down the boulevard  we came to familiar bar, another hole in the wall where there is someone outside trying to convince us into drinking alcohol there.   He obviously gets a commission to get takers down for cheap drinks.  So as my three friends were into getting some beers at some point. The bids start at 1 dollar US per beer and we haggle down to 50 cents US, and then comes the kicker as always…”The Walkaway”.   We notion we’re not interested and as we start to walk away he yells out’ “Let’s make a deal!”  As we were piqued with interest, a disheveled looking fella walks out of the bar to us.  He is carrying a car battery on his chest slung over his neck and arms with leather straps.  Protruding out at length from the car battery’s terminals are two long wires attached to a makeshift connection on the other end to two metal handlebars sawed off and connected, one for each wire.  He says to us in broken English, ” If one of you can hold these, one each hand…past red line”, as he points to a dial and voltage meter that has a red line pasted on it…”, then beers 25 cent, if not 75 cent.

Well we all looked at each other to gauge a response, I lit up inside, he did not realize that he had come up against a shark for this type of challenge.  Everyone was like no way, forget that…crazy talk! So I asked my mates if they want, I will do it.  I wasn’t even going to be having beers.  As I said though I had an angle and one caveat, free sodas for me…and they agreed.  As soon as we agreed he handed me the handles one for each hand as he began to chuckle and he referred to us now as, “Mis amigos y amigas favoritas”, I had a chuckle as well.  It was showtime and my friends were all pleading with me not to do it.  I insisted as I said just trust me on this.

So before I took the Pepsi Challenge for 25 cent beers and free sodas, I ask for your patience for a moment as I explain and digress from the matter at hand.  Winding back several years earlier, I have a DJ set up always in my flat.  My place always has long wires leading to power sources around my space. I would spin vinyl, and as I still do just mix and beat match continuously for hours and hours.  I spin everything from Electronic, Dinosaur Rock, Rap, Pop, Metal, Classical, and Alternative as well as all things in between.  Right below my old skool wood and fuzz super heavy DJ Coffin, I have a five foot high JBL Bass Rig on wheels for my setup to rest on.  The wheels allow my complete setup to move around the house as needed. Down by the wood floor I always have a small matrix of power cords just under the bass rig.  One day when I was spinning my bare feet happened to land on the wires and I got a good shock as I had not noticed one of them split. I did notice shortly before that there was some strange noises in the mix as if there was a grounding issue but it came on so gradually, I did not notice till I got shocked.  Something happened though I kind of liked  the way it felt.

I know some will find this crazy and bat shit but I noticed when I got shocked, the hair would stand up on the back of my neck and I would get goose bumps all over.  So like an idiot I did it again and again, until I was standing continuously on the damaged wire.  I was not worried about shorting my equipment as the wires fed into a power conditioner that just trips if there is a surge.  Yes, rationalization I know, but it felt really good. Over a short period of time I got used to the strength of the voltage and any fear which I initially had faded away.  I continued doing it for a few days off and on, and at some point when I moved my rig I swapped out the damaged wire for a new one.  I eventually forgot about this experience, until one day at a family cookout someone mentioned how they got 65768uiCRPshocked and without missing a beat I told everyone what happened to me.  The looks I got were epic, it’s as if everyone was looking at a ghost.  Until someone broke the silence with some consternation and a laugh…I had never thought to much about it.  My family begged me not to do that anymore, but it was still met with some measured laughs.

So here we are at the moment of truth, the man at the bar hands me the two handlebar terminals one in each hand, asks me if I’m, ready.  Go for it I egged.  He started out with a low voltage turning the dial to 25% of the way to the scratched red line.  It then occurred to me that if by mistake he turned it up all the way I could be dead. Putting that out of mind, I just began to meditate a bit and see if I could ride it out.  He then went to 50% and I was still fine.  I could feel the electricity coursing down my arm and into my head and belly but it was still fine.  Then he went to 75% and I had to clench my teeth and I could feel my muscles all over contracting.  My arms began to quiver as I gripped the handles but could barely feel them any more, I thought I was going to drop them.  Then as everyone on the street was gathering around watching what I was doing, with my mates worried as all heck. They did not look comfortable even though I was doing the heavy lifting and the crowd was cheering me on.  Then the man said he was going to red line it and I had to hold for ten seconds, he looked convinced I was going to fail.  He slowly raised to the red line in the center and the crowd began to count…Uno, Dos, Tres, Quatro….it was as if time stood still.  My teeth began to rattle. cinco, seis, siete…I was definitely at the end of my line, just hoping the handles would not drop, as I said I could no longer feel them but I knew they were hot somehow.  Ochooooooooo, Nueeeeeevvveee, Diezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, once I realized we were at 10 he began to lower the voltage. I had done it.  Everyone was 343456hjCRPcheering, it was pretty wild.  So we went inside the bar and my friends got their 25 cent beers. I was the man of the hour, exhausted, and the fun had not even begun.

We hung around for a few hours while the friends got their drink on. Then we realized there was about one hour till sunset, and decided to walk around the city, even going off the beaten path, which i would later come to realize paradoxically that our luck had run out and fully kicked into gear at the same exact time.  So we get back to the beginning of the main drag and we noticed there was another road with vendors that veered of the main road going downhill but it was heading North West, kind of in the direction back towards the border. We decided to wander on down this road as we entered painters light, my favorite time of the day.  I noticed the first vendor was a woman who owned a statue store and the front was open like a garage filled with lots of statues mostly religious in nature but there was other things as well.  They seemed to be made of cheap plaster but they were still pretty cool.  On the cobblestone street in front of us where statues both painted and unpainted, many I noticed where oddly balanced on the top of round stones, and as the wind was picking up they would wobble a bit back and forth. In the moment, I did not think too much of it as we all just were browsing.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

Next thing I know, I hear a small crash behind me about fifteen feet back, It then dawned that one of the unpainted statues had fallen over and smashed on the street.  We all looked at each other confused and thinking why the hell are these statues set up on round rocks and I felt bad for the woman…next thing we know she starts yelling at me that I owed her, “150 dollar cash”.  I tried to reason with her, it was then all of us knew we were being set up.  It was quite clear as I had not even come close to that statue.  As she began to yell at me in Spanish, which I understood she was yelling at other vendors to come stop me…I said let’s go this is getting crazy.  As we were walking away I could see a group of men forming at the top of the street pointing me out and beginning to head down the street after me.  Shit was going downhill fast and I could tell they figuratively wanted my head on a platter as they began to scream “Policia, policia!!!”

I had heard of shit like this before and there was no way I was taking the fall for something I did not do.  I had also heard of people being thrown in a Mexican jail for stuff like this and it would take a cash bribe to get out.  I then looked at my mates and I said quickly and quietly, “I’ll meet you guys at the border, just take the main road back.”  I continued “I’m heading for the border on my own, and then we can take this up with customs officials.”  It was my only hope as they we’re coming after me.  I bolted down a side street and once I did It looked like I had entered a demolition zone, a back street full of rubble, smashed bricks, stray dogs, feral cats, and trash…something that you might see off the beaten path in Beirut.  I was scared shitless, and it was then my “Jason Statham caught up in a Liam Neeson Movie” persona kicked in. Adrenaline full on!  The street ran parallel to the main road back to the border but it was still a dozen blocks back to the crossing.  I dodged and dived around all kinds of obstacles, climbing over fences…it looked like construction was going on as well but there was literally not one person in sight.  Ever hear of a back alley in a different country, with no people on it the likes of which someone encounters in a bad dream.  Well I had found it.

The gang that were chasing me cut over to that road as well but as I said it was full of obstacles so they were slowed down as well.  I thought to myself, although they were coming they were not fast or gaining on me, so as long as i kept up my pace I would make it too the border before them.  After a few blocks I ducked below a damaged wall as I waited a few moments, looking around the corner to the road we originated on and as I predicted my mates walked by and I cut back to them thinking maybe they had given up.  So I walked up to them again and they looked worried.  I told them if they pop up again I would take off (again) and meet them at the border as originally planned.  Just as i finished saying that I looked back up the road and they where running, yelling, and now I noticed several of them were carrying guns and waving them in the air.  After seeing that I took off again cutting back towards the same road I had been quickly navigating through those obstacles. Now I knew for sure this was definitely not going to end till we at least got to the border.  So I soldiered on not knowing if I was going to get out alive.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

Slowly but surely I made my way back towards the border. Next thing you know it sounded like firecrackers going off, however when I noticed puffs of dust coming from the sides of the cement walls and the dirt being kicked up, I then realized, holy shit they’re shooting at me.  I just kept going with all that  I had in the tank as i continued to hear the sound of bullets going by just like something you would see in the movies.  This can’t be real I thought, I’m going to fucking die here.  So I don’t know if anyone has ever had something like this happen to them before, but I can bet even if you have not, you can imagine what it would be like.  Not pleasant…I did not have time to think, I was going on pure instinct at this point.  Ducking and diving, surging and backing off for a moment to mark my path, it still seemed they were not gaining on me.  I was sure as hell they were still coming though.  Luckily the shooting was sporadic and jagged (not constant), and I took advantage of that fact.  Not only that they seemed to be bad shots because they were not even getting close. Who knows, they were probably just trying to get me to stop not actually hit me…I could not be sure.

I realized next as I came around a bend that I was only about three blocks from the foot bridge…I had a bad feeling that this was where they were going to cut me off and catch me.  I had to stay positive and I can assure  you it was not easy.  I could not see the gang behind me anymore but I could here them yelling.  I made a break back to the main road and when i got to the footbridge I ran faster than I ever have in my life and made it to the main square at the border.  I wanted to make my way over to the main stairways to the tunnels and bridges that led over the border to immigration.  One great thing that I realized was the square was filled with people, so I stopped running to not stand out…hoping that I would blend in.  I still did walk very fast though.  When I got to the walkways I stopped to get my bearings and wait for my friends…a few minutes later the mates come around into the square and I yell and wave to them.  As they made their way over to me, there was a small moment of hope that this could be over.  We, for a moment (prematurely) hug and talk about what just happened. That moment did not last long.

About a minute later the gang came crowding into the square, and this time they had the freaking police with them…communicating on radios as if they were calling out an APB.  I could not believe it…this was insane.  Again (for the third time) I said to my mates, “I have to go”…yes, they were stunned. So I bolted up the stairs and ran through the tunnels as fast as I could and eventually I came to the straightway where I could see the the US Immigration turn styles but was gutted because their was a frickin’ line.  I could imagine the Mexican Police grabbing me before making it through and claiming jurisdiction.  So I took a deep breath, opened my passport, and just kept calm in the line about ten deep.  Surprisingly the que went quite fast as there were a few lines open at the same time.  I finally got to the customs official and he asked me a few questions.  I had to weigh instantaneously in my mind saying anything about what had just happened versus just getting back into the country.  I could not hear the angry mob anymore and just went for it.  I answered the questions truthfully and he let me pass.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

When I got outside of the border crossing station in San Ysidro,  I walked over to the trolley platform to wait for my group to catch up with me. I was elated, I could not believe I had made it.  After about ten minutes they arrived and we all hugged it out.  What a mess…so much could have gone terribly wrong and yet being back in my home country…I was overcome with the feeling of safety.  It was finally over.  I can tell you this, it was the topic of conversation amongst our friends and family for a while.

Since then I have safely gone into Mexico both the Baja Peninsula and the Mexican mainland and would never encourage someone not to go.  It was just the luck of the draw on that day in that moment.  I can also say I have been in other life defining situations in the US as well as other places in the world.  So I’m not singling out Mexico…as I’ve said it is still one of my favorite places in the world.  The Mexican people are a wonderful and  hospitable culture.  I just happened upon an anomaly.  It’s fun to be on TV but I can say without hesitance that I would not trade my freedom and safety for a go at an episode of National Geographic “Locked Up Abroad”, and by the way do you think getting shocked for 25 cent beers and free cokes is really worth it? I do.

 

Thanks for reading and for all your kind words. Your patience with my insubordination is greatly appreciated. Thanks for all your support!!!

More Interesting Articles and Reviews to come.

Cheers and Bless Bless!

 

CM ☕

 

Please do not reproduce this article either all or in part without the expressed written permission of the author who can be reached via the “Contact” section in the header menu. You may link to the article if you wish, all that we ask is that you give credit to the respective author…”Christmachine” wherever you post a link. Thank you.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2015 Christmachine. All Rights Reserved.

©2014 – 2020 Christmachine

 

Sunset Hollywood, Seattle Sound And European Christmas Vacation Anthony Bourdain Style! Also My Latest Swedish Snus Haul…

Sunset Hollywood, Seattle Sound And European Christmas Vacation Anthony Bourdain Style! Also My Latest Swedish Snus Haul ~

Today Up On Christmachine Audio Reference Music Server :

 

UPDATE: @ BOTTOM OF THIS POST 12/23/14

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

So I just got off the phone with a relative visiting Los Angeles, and I ask, where have they gone…”We’ve been to Venice Beach, Santa Monica, yada yada, and Disneyland in Anaheim. We’ve been very busy, tomorrow we head to San Diego where we will be able to relax a bit more.” I replied, “Awesome…what about the Sunset Strip, how did you like that?” I remember when I went to California for my first time…I had a local take me to see the sites, and when I brought up that I wanted to go to the strip, she said…’there’s not really much there, but I get it, we can make a stop there so you can check it out.’ I get it many locals will say that it’s a dirty waste of time. Not me, I thought, I was on a pilgrimage and if I did not experience anything other than “The Strip” that would be fine. I also get that it’s very touristy…I did not care it was the 1980’s and I had to go. So anyway my relative on the phone today  says, they did not go to 346462hjSunset, and they would not have a chance. It was like a knife in my chest…WHATTTTT!!! At least do a drive through, WTF! So much amazing history but I guess it’s not to be. I know some of you are saying F Sunset, dirty waste of time…WRONG!

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

 

All I could think of to myself is that some day they will regret not going to the strip, just to see The Rainbow, The Whiskey, and The Troubabour. It reminded me of my first trip to Continental Europe with my Grand Parents when they took us on the “safety tour” in the 80’s when I was young, God love em, but I remembered that they tried to censor our trip. I grew up in Iceland so debauchery was not new to me, but the grandparents were a bit naive and did not get that we, the young ones already experienced the “adult stuff”. My uncle, aunt, and cousins lived near Nijmegen, Holland. It was pretty awesome experiencing it like a local…riding the bike paths in and out of the city and the 10 miles from Beuningen to Arnhem. We had Fritz Met, fries Old Skool 377 Holland - CopyEditand mayonnaise, had to explain what the American word “Cool” to a local (It did not mean cold), and were hit with major porn next to the Disney Movies at the “Video Ring” while renting VHS tapes. As you know women’s breasts on TV, on the front page of the newspaper, and at the beach is normal in Europe.

 

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

We ate horse meat burgers (salty strange), canned hot dogs, and dairy products like eggs / butter / and unpasteurized fresh milk not refrigerated. Actually reminded me of Iceland, not the same, but eating strange foods that is. Remember there was no Anthony Bourdain or Andrew Zimmern on TV then and wandering gastronomy was not popular with Americans…still is not, but people “get” foi gras now even if they don’t want to eat it themselves.  Now I know better to go for the Pig Cheek and Tuna Collar…first! Thank you Mr. Bourdain.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

I also went to a Dutch school with my cousin and a friend of his, and all the students were asking me all kinds of questions about celebrities (blech!) and MTV (remember it was the 80’s). It wasn’t all bad, in fact I had a great time in English class. Everyone in Holland had English class in school, what was really cool was when I listened to the kids speaking English (Very fluent by the way), I realized they were learning British English. When they asked me to read a passage in their class book everyone seemed amazed and were stunned that I did not have an Icelandic accent. American English I found out that day was quite different from UK English.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

Anyway I did not accept the idea of a censored Europe, no matter what they did (Much more on that later in this piece, see the plane ride home)…I spent my free days to do whatever I wanted, on my own wisely. I knew what I was looking for and I was going to take advantage of it, no matter what anyone said. We drove to Paris and I remember my Grandparents rushing us by the nude statues…very silly indeed, could not be avoided in The Louvre. Also all the sex shops near the Moulin Rouge was awkward for them…lol. We also went to East Germany, this was before the wall came down, and it was quite sad. Far from the free East Berlin Berghain / Panoramabar lawlessness I would visit several years ago, totally not like I remembered in a great way. We further went to Antwerp Belgium, Amsterdam NL (All Over NL), Berlin DE, Luxembourg, and Zurich Switzerland.  It was a very fun trip. 346346hg

I know now days seeing police dogs and Machine guns at airports is pretty common, but back then it was not.  You see we planned our trip months ahead and found ourselves in Holland with military fighter jets doing mission test runs above the house. We turned on the radio and in Dutch, they were saying America was on the brink of w*ar after blo*wing up one  of K*had*afi’s homes, kil*ling his s*on. It was pretty scary for a while we did not know what was going to happen day to day. Would we be taking our scheduled flight a few weeks later from Brussels to the US. We thought about leaving early, thankfully we did not as everything seemed to settle down when it was time to leave.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

So as I said I was not going to allow a censored tour of europe, I was a young kid but had been around the block a few times. So I was worried about customs searching my bags especially with all I had acquired on my trip…unknowingly by my Grandparents and with the heightened security. My collectables in my luggage were; several Cuban Cigars, a bottle of cheap French Drinking Wine that all the locals in Paris drank at lunchtime with their bread and fromage, 1 bottle of Russian Potato Vodka, 1 bottle of REAL Czechoslovakian Absinthe, 1 Switchblade, 1 pen…woman with disappearing dress, 1 pack of Po*rn Star Playing Cards, and there was more but you get the idea. I was not even a teen yet and I was a walking ball of debauchery to go, just add water. It was that Heavy Metal music, it was a bad influence on me…I’ll blame it on that. K.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

So we get to the airport in Brussels and began to put our luggage on the conveyor to the x-ray. As it went through I could have pissed myself. Breathe! As soon as my bag came through I picked it up and hustled it away about 30 feet to the bottom of the escalators. I grabbed another bag of my family’s as well. Then all of a sudden there was a commotion behind the scanner and two airport officials come out from behind and start pulling my Grandmother’s bag apart, obviously looking for something. They found nothing as my bag was safely away. Ah to be young again, man was I a handful. That was very close…very very close! Imagine them unpacking my suitcase full of treats right in front of my stunned Grandparents?!?! Anyway I passed through customs and on arrival in the US scuttled without even a search or declaration form in the US. As I walked by inspectors they paid me no attention as I tried to steady my bag, the bottles had come unwrapped and were now clinking. I almost shat myself…steady hand!

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

More to come about my trips to Continental Europe in the future, time to get back to music, Los Angeles, and Seattle. Forward a few years…Now it was the late 80’s, but I had travelled to LA in 83, 85, 88 and 89 and I did not establish my connections in the music industry until the middle of 1989. I thought to myself, I had missed out on Hendrix and the 60’s scene, as well as the Punk Movement in the 70’s (single digits, although I saw the 44633363mjRamones in 83 but that does not count, right, as I missed the movement). So I had to go to LA for the 80’s Glam Metal Scene…the Sunset strip was insane. The freaks were out and dressed to kill, it was more than you would imagine, the smell of Aqua Net and Phunky Kush was overwhelming. I got to see almost all of the LA Metal bands as there were shows every night of the week. It was a pretty carefree time as I was traveling back and forth between the UK, Boston, New York City, Los Angeles, and Seattle quite often. There were also many side trips to Vegas and Frisco as well. In the future I would find myself living between the UK, Reykjavik, Boston, San Diego, and San Francisco between tours in the 90’s. What made it even more amazing was that I was able to physically see the major turn in the music industry from LA Glam to The Seattle Sound.

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

When I look back on it, it was a seismic shift but as I just liked loud music I transitioned easily from Motley Crue and Ratt to Alice In Chains and Nirvana. I did not give a fuck about the politics and I got along with almost anybody, so at the time I did not notice the music was too different, of course it was different, but more importantly I could feel that I was part of something very unique and a part of history. What made everything more confusing was that Guns N’ Roses, Janes Addiction, and The Red Hot Chilli Pepper’s holding it up for LA blurring the Alternative lines. Megadeth, Metallica, Anthrax, and Slayer (The Big Four) where holding things up for thrash in the US and even bigger in Europe and South America. I would just the same listen to LA Guns, Mudhoney, or Megadeth (just as I do today)…where I really noticed the transition was when I went back home to work in the clubs in the 90’s.  All the work shifted from LA to Seattle for sure but back home Glam Metal was out and “Grunge” (hate that term) was in at some point. I didn’t get the memo that Metal was out and Seattle was in. I just went with the flow. The difference at home was the radio had stopped playing 80’s metal and full rotation was set on Seattle, it was really strange. Instead of taking my flights to LAX, I was now heading for SEATAC. That’s just the way it was. Not Enough time to write about the Raves and The Grateful Dead, Old Skool Rap Shows ( Notorious BIG, Snoop Dogg, Tupac, Warren G, NWA, Public Enemy, Wu Tang Clan, KRS 1, Dr. Dre, etc.) that’s for other articles…I was going nonstop for sure!

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Photo Courtesy Of Doc!

My experiences during these times are just beginning to be published, every day still I remember a new adventure and make note to be sure I remember to write about it here. “Bastard Saint” the Series has turned into something bigger. A book about all my experiences set to a bizarre ethereal netherworld. Based on a true story…there is so much to it, I will be posting excerpts from it in the New Year of 2015. Sorry, much later than I had expected because I want to give everybody a taste of how the book is coming along and the characters within, without giving away everything in a few posts. However I will probably self publish and give it away for free. So I look to give everyone here pieces to wet the tongue, while leaving people wanting to see development and progress with the full text.

So in closing here I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Holidays! Have a drink and a toke on me…I’ll be sticking with my coffee, Ettan, and Skruf Xtra Stark with a little Thunder Ultra Raspberry / Thunder Frosted, Oden’s Kanel, Gotlandskt Julesnus to keep it real for the season! Real Swedish Imported Snus Taxes Paid(Med Smak Av Jul !)….not that American SNUS Shit!

 

Most Recent Imported Swedish Snus Haul:

CRPRSZ

UPDATE: 12/23/14 ~ Excellent News…I guess it was meant to be. I just got off Facetime and the relatives did make it to the Sunset Strip today and they Loved It!!! They are now safely in San Diego [Dago] @ Mission Bay. Pacific Beach Manana!

So Cali Love!!!

 

Thanks for reading and for all your kind words and support!

More Interesting Articles and Reviews to come.

Cheers and Bless Bless!

 

CM ☕

 

Please do not reproduce this article either all or in part without the expressed written permission of the author who can be reached via the “Contact” section in the header menu. You may link to the article if you wish, all that we ask is that you give credit to the respective author…”Christmachine” wherever you post a link. Thank you.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2015 Christmachine. All Rights Reserved.

©2014 – 2020 Christmachine

 

The Las Vegas Adventure…Calling Dr. Thompson Part #2!

What the hell is all that noise…can’t a man get any sleep around here, I thought angrily. I was on the floor next to the bottle of ether and the sweet smell was permeating the air 900x900flparound me from the strainer lying next to my head. My head pounding, I was confused as my nose was caked with crystals…coach was sitting on the bed reading The Atlantic, saying “For the thousandth time it’s time to go”. He exclaimed The Eldorado was waiting out in front of the hotel and he was praising himself for the fact that he had waited until night for us to leave for So Cal. He knew the heat was rough on my constitution, as my coach these were the things I needed help with and thank God he did it well. There was good reason to keep him around.

I arose to fix myself so as to not tip off any of the neuro-typicals in the casino. I was not going into the bathroom again, not falling for that one. I had no control in that place like I did at home. I was able to adjust my tuxedo to the point were everything looked somewhat straight. I needed a new one as soon as I could get it, this one was worn out. I went over to my suitcase and as I was shaking and the bottles rattled…I took my medication from my organizer and noticed that I had missed two days 900x900px-LL-06b83c2e_465064_4b68902d77f81-worth. Had I been out for three days, I thought…well it would not be good to triple and catch up because we would be on the road and I did not want to leak out of the car into a puddle in the desert in the middle of the night.

We hurried through the casino to the caddy which I could see parked out in front of the hotel. Thank God for room check out because I could not face anyone in my present condition. Suitcase in the back and coach and I in the front we set of on the 15 to head towards Anaheim. It was so freaking hot, even at midnight, I could barely catch a breath as the air was so hot and dry and we had not even reached the desert yet. There was a warm six pack of Coca Cola on the floor of the front, I opened the sweet nectar and even though it was very warm, there was solace in just wetting my tongue.

I began to think and sometimes that can be a bad thing, but not now as I was comforted by the thoughts that had followed me my whole life. You see I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation but you know how people just have a feeling of what they may have been in another life? Well I had them often and strangely enough I feel as though I was a lifelong patron at an opium den. It was not about the drugs and getting high, for me it was about being in a state of dreaming and neutrality. That is no movement and fully sedated for days on end on a hard wood floor with only a small pillow to elevate my head to the pipe and burner, just in case I woke. The least amount of movement necessary to go back to my dreamlike state. I am instilled with the notion that there are no worries about money or time or responsibility. There is nothing but sleep for weeks and months at a time. There is also no chaos associated with this notion either so I must have had the funds to continue 600763_420429091388374_721449450_nFLPendlessly. No negative association either…I can’t fully grasp it but I imagine it’s like heaven on earth. I also can’t get any orientation as to where in the world I am participating in such a state of sloth.

Oh my God it’s getting so hot…is all I could think about. I can barely breathe, I imagine what it would have been like during the day. I was thankful for that! Next thing you know I start getting pelted in the face and chest with huge cockroaches…WTF!!! What the hell is going on…I could see coach ducking under the front of the windshield as I yelled at him what the hell was happening. He told me this sometimes happens in the desert, he’s heard. It was not cockroaches it was giant grasshoppers…billions of them falling from the sky. I could hear them popping as the tires rolled over them. I think they call these things locusts, you know like in the bible…was the world coming to an end. Coach and I were screaming nonsense back and forth at each900x900px-LL-1d2d9ddf_273455d1274789628amylee other but I did make out him saying that we would make a stop for gas at a tiny glowing station way off in the distance. What a relief, an end to this madness.

We pulled in and although it was lit up there seemed to be no one there, we pumped our gas and I could see these f’ing humongous grasshoppers fall from the sky as we took shelter under the awning. After filling the car we went into the office and there was a man sitting there in AC watching an old black and white television. “Rough night out there. eh boys.” Rough night I thought, what the hell is happening, he could tell I was confused and he looked like he had not seen anyone in days. “Oh the locusts” he said…”Yeah what’s with all the grasshoppers”, I said. He proceeded to explain that every several years this happens. Every several years!!! The night we head through the desert is the one time in several years…what madness. I looked at the temperature gauge outside and it read 130 degrees Fahrenheit at close to one in the morning.

So I guess we should just get in the car and continue on our way as if this was relatively normal. Well we did so and after another half hour of pulling these beasts from my hair  and teeth, it miraculously began to subside. Anaheim could not come fast enough…but we made it in a few hours and got to our hotel right across the street from Disney Land. I 900x900px-LL-3e4ea176_wards-of-the-crown-photo-of-a-young-lady-with-headphonescrashed on the bed after taking another dose of medication and I feel deep asleep. The nightmare was over, and as strange as it sounds the LA  air was a nice departure from the desert breath of death. I went out like a light.

I awoke the next morning and after fixing myself a bit and some meds…I was able to carry on. I thought it be good if I did not get too blitzed before we would go to get our press credentials at the convention center. I thought things could not get any stranger so early in the day, I stepped out of the hotel room for a breathe of fresh air. Oh no, yes it was happening in real life, I think. Right when I walked out the door sitting a mile away across an empty parking lot was WTF, Walleyworld! Yes from the movie…I know it 900x900px-LL-6af308c5_glamourai_radio2wwas disney land but it looked like Walleyworld with the empty parking lot and everything. I was in another dimension and had to get out of there, at least during the daytime, as it was too crazy for even me to handle.

I woke up coach in a panic and said we have to leave immediately because the outside world was closing in and we’d be lucky to get out of there alive. I grabbed my suitcase made sure everything was fastened down because I did not need clinking all day as we visited the convention booths. It was all a blur but after getting our credentials we went to a reception, I think it was for Washburn and who do I see right away but Nico McBrain and he was with Frankie Banali I think, and the new singer for Iron Maiden. Anyway I went straight over to him and gave him a big man hug and said, “where have you been all my life ugly.” He laughed out loud and since we both had free beer, the party was ready to begin full swing. We got so loaded, we were knocking over potted plants and tables and chairs and people. Sounds obnoxious I know but it was Nico…that was my queue to go hog wild, funny thing is he started getting wild. We were yelling and singing…I knew every word to every Maiden song and he was impressed. Others were not…but again it was Nico and when In Rome. This went on for a few hours and we ran into Mike Inez…I think he was in Ozzy at the time…maybe AIC…I forget. I’m writing this 900x900px-LL-7ef0824f_20090521015757from memory and do no fact checking so you get what I got. Mike was laying low in his leather cowboy hat…I wanted to trade my visor for it but he  would not. I was a a wild obnoxious guy in a rusty tuxedo. What did I expect.

Any way there was a piano there and Charlie Farren was there and playing elton songs and we were all singing our lungs out for a few hours till they kicked us all out of the hotel lobby. Everyone was pretty drunk and someone slipped some E into my beer. Vavoom and I was off…we went to see Greg Allman jam at an adjacent hotel and see Buckethead tear it up. He was amazing and it was still in the time period where he was wearing the KFC bucket on his head before he got attacked over copyright. The night was young and I was raring to go. As it was dark…boy does time fly, there was no sleep for me. Next thing it was morning after going from hotel room to hotel room all night and meeting people that where as crazy or crazier than me.

Well it was the next day and as I reflected on the day before, I thought there was no way it could get any crazier and I was wrong. Coach had given up and gone back to the hotel room without me last night. I found it better kicking it with Nuno Bettencourt for a while just 900x900px-LL-09e29a50_headphoneskstshooting the shit about music, it was then that a girl caught my eye. She looked my way as well, so I said goodbye Nuno and got with this girl and she was real friendly. She worked for a LA newspaper and she said, “You want to go over to the convention center and see some booths as well as get passes for parties”, that would be going on that night (My sentiments exactly). At some point I ran into coach, he looked really annoyed, and I could’nt help but think ‘hey poopy pants, who is the party pooper now?’. I was having such a great time and his recommendations were going unheeded. No offence to him, so I hooked him up with Jay from White Zombie and he was able to do an interview with him so coach was happy.

Walking around the booths with my girl pal…we eventually came to an area with a lot of commotion and I asked somebody what was the attraction. Someone said that it was Pam Anderson signing autographs and Tommy Lee was with her. So who did I run into all pissed off and jonesing Nikki Sixx. It was weird because everyone was falling all over Pam and Tommy that no one seemed to recognize Nikki but me. We had a chat and he was as pissed off as I thought…Sixx sense. He was waiting for Tommy to finish with Pamela…and 900x900px-LL-9b4ab95e_0345_31_4that seemed long off so after a sudden rush of photographers. You see when I went up to him, the photographers relized who it was and started snapping shots and that’s when he got really annoyed. So we got out of there so we could get got sorted…he was in a much better mood after that. Nikki wanted to get back with Tommy so we head back to their both and waited for them to finish.

So it was the second time running into Tommy in two weeks across state lines no less…he recognised me and we had a quick chat…after some nonsense, Tommy was a real chill guy…not edgy like Nikki. Nikki was cool too, he just had better places to be…ahem. Tommy had the “I could hang out here all day” attitude just real a sweet guy. It was as if I’d known him for years even though we had really just met. He gave me his secretary Karen’s number written on a Doc McGhee business card and said if I was ever in LA again to hit him up and “come and check out the band in the studio”. That’s how cool he was…awesome!

So there was reception after reception..I got to hang out with Jake E Lee which was a real thrill as well…super cool guy. Rock star after rock star blitzed out of my mind and coach was even happy…could it get any better. There did come a point in the day that Coach said he had some work to do and communicate with his editor. So I told him I would be fine without him as long as I stayed with my girl and not leave the confines of the convention and hotels. That was it for coach…I was on my own. We got invited to a party at someone’s crib in Malibu who will remain nameless. If you’ve ever seen the parties that they had in 900x900px-CrpFlpthe movie Boogie Nights…that’s exactly what it was like. The music was loud, nude, and very very high. The party went on for three days and two nights…I was tilled! We danced and crashed and danced and swam and caught crazy sun. My girl slept in one of the many bedrooms while I rallied on.

At some point in the middle of day three she wanted  to take me to her place in Orange County. I was so numb and could barely talk, I obliged and went back to her place and slept for four days straight. I woke to her nudging me on occasion as well as a bowl of cereal here and there. When I finally woke from the stupor…she told me that she wanted me to live with her.  This was followed by trips to the sunset strip to see 311 at the Whiskey and chill out at the rainbow. Life was really good and I was well stocked with incidentals. So I did not need to leave for a few weeks. One of the best benders I’d ever had. What happened with the girl, well I said we could communicate by phone, but I never saw her again. I love LA but when I got home that time, one of my many adventures in LA over the years I took the longest shower I have ever taken in my life. Oh yeah and I returned the tux.

Braindamage Inc.

 

Thanks for reading my nonsense, more interesting articles to come!

Cheers and Bless Bless!

 

CM ☕

 

Please do not reproduce this article either all or in part without the expressed written permission of the author who can be reached via the “Contact” section in the header menu. You may link to the article if you wish, all that we ask is that you give credit to the respective author…”Christmachine” wherever you post a link. Thank you.

 

 

 

Copyright © 2015 Christmachine. All Rights Reserved.

©2014 – 2020 Christmachine

 

The Las Vegas Adventure…Calling Dr. Thompson Part #1!

As I disembarked from the airplane I was on full. I just wanted to get my luggage and get away from this neutered artificial reality. I figured it was best to blend in around the Slots in muJthe airport lounge. We had spent most of our money on potent incidentals because that was more important than getting to our location. My Life Coach thought it best that we immediately get a “free ride” to Fremont street from the airport to our hotel. We were staying at the palatial  Binion’s Horseshoe Hotel. You know the place with a million dollars in cash sitting in the lobby and had a strict “Leave Your Guns At The Door Policy”. The problem was that our hotel did not have a shuttle service from the airport but my Coach was not worried. He just said we’ll get our free ride from the Golden Nugget across the street. I was confused but he was my life coach after all and there would be hell to pay if he got it wrong.

So Coach got on the courtesy phone by the slots and ordered our ride to the Golden Nugget. Still I was confused, but what seemed like forever we finally saw the mini van pull up. After loading the luggage, we were on our way. When we got to the nugget Coach gave the driver a fiver for a tip and we entered the hotel lobby. Coach whispered to me “Just follow my lead.” We walked up to the check in desk and although I was nervous there was no going back now. Coach opened his electronic organizer and said to the desk clerk as our baggage, now on a rolling cart was placed beside us, “Ma’am I would like to book five nights here at your hotel next month.” He continued on saying, ” My editor will be calling to confirm and pay for these days within the next couple of hours.” She obliged and made sure the dates were correct, finishing by saying, “Would you gentlemen like to take advantage of our breakfast this morning.” Coach replied in the affirmative.

We left our bags with the concierge and although I was not the bit interested in food as we had been awake for as long as I could remember. I did partake in a piece of hot bacon and a dip in the pool in my underwear. It was still early in the day and there was no one around thank God. We would have been booted for sure. After gathering our things we walked across the street to our hotel so we could finally get shelter from the hot morning sun. We were in Vegas for the week for C.E.S., scheduled to go on to NAMM in Anaheim the following week. Well we checked into the Horseshoe and right when I got to my room I could not help but freak out.

I emptied my pockets onto my bed, cash, a variety of incidentals, several pharmaceutical bottles, a visitor guide, a toothbrush, and a comb. Coach backed into the corner as I began to run around the hotel room screaming at the top of my lungs. “What am I going to do”, “How will I survive this viscous reality”. I did this for a few minutes until I could feel Coach grab me, throw me onto the floor and shove into my face a bottle of Alkyl Nitrite’s. I immediately got dizzy as I could feel the blood pumping through my veins into my brain.

I was sedated and handed my morning dose of medication which I took down like any good person would. As I turned over the room was spinning like vertigo, but now I was calm. Coach began to explain to me that as it was my first time to the Glitter Gulch, that he recommended that If I follow his advice everything would be fine. I think I passed out for a few hours only to wake up to coach listening with headphones to his Disc Man and dancing with four girls around the room. They were dancing and laughing to the music that bled cranked from his cans. As I head to the mini bar I asked Coach what the hell was going on…he said he was dancing and that if I wanted to prove not to be a party pooper I should dance too.

My head was pounding but soon that was relieved, better living through chemistry I thought. What would we do without analogues, I was utterly indebted to Mister S. So after fixing my face I went into the bathroom…but there was a mirror on the wall and that was not good. How could I be so stupid and forget about the damn mirror on the wall, most bathrooms have them. Oh sure you think what’s the big deal, well only that my nose was coming out of my bellybutton. I splashed some water on my face from the shower, fixed my face, and said to myself that I could do this I just had to give myself a chance.

It was time to head to the convention center to have some business cards made up by an automated self service machine that spit out 100 business cards on the spot containing 2655603322_262b337d76anything that you wanted on them. The reason for these was that in order to get into the convention for free with press credentials I had to have official business cards. This was why I kept Coach around, not only did he keep me in line but he had every little angle sorted out way ahead of time. I was new to all of this so I would not have been able to do it without him. That’s what he was paid for and he was the best at it. I could not have done any better.

Now picture this, all of the shenanigans that previously been encountered were done while wearing a tuxedo…yes I said it…a tuxedo….like at a wedding. I looked like a penguin with road maps for eyes. I was dressed to kill but I was disheveled none the less. Coach said in order to get respect from people you had to be dressed for success. With tops and tails, at this point I had already lost the top hat….I thought it looked stupid on me anyway, but Coach wore his with flying colors. Well he was in charge if it was up to me this whole adventure would have been long over by now.

After getting our credentials we decided to head to the Press luncheon…every day there were free lunches and dinners for us, members of the press were treated well with sponsored meals by the big audio manufacturers. Today was provided by Shure audio components. All the big wigs were there, I was like a fish out of water at first but soon got into the vibe and went along as I was handed live microphones to try out. Yes ladies and gentle furs   Karaoke from hell and I was tapped to sing because Coach just had to tell everyone that I was a vocalist. Now I must tell you that I hate…did I say hate Karaoke!!! Yes I put my manhood between my crotch and belted out my rendition of Purple Rain. Then Ramblin’ Man, Breaking the law, and Metallica’s Trapped under Ice. Let me tell you I blew those Karaoke muther F’ers away. I finished by throwing the mic in the air and it landed on the stage with a thump just like Axl Rose does. They had taken advantage of me…my weakness, complete and utter love for absurdity.

I left the ballroom humiliated but then I saw that the adult film expo was in full swing I had to check the legendary event out for myself. I did not know what I was in for. It was being held in the old Sahara hotel and casino and as you can figure, it was the most crowded and popular event. As I entered the ballroom the first thing I saw was an Amazonian woman on top of tables chained to a wall with red palm prints all over her backside as everyone that 800px-Hunter_S._Thompson_in_F_filmCRPentered the exhibition was to walk up to her and slap her behind before entering. I was horrified!!! The thing was either she really liked it or really new how to act. That was not for me as I was not a fan of degrading women in any way. I made a B line for the bustle of the crowd to get the hell out of there.

Now as I said I am not into degrading women but I would soon come to find this was not just bout naked women but naked men being promiscuous as well. It was, other than the initial impression when I walked in, equal opportunity. Ron Jeremy was there with all the famous Porn stars like Janine Lindemulder and Jenna Jamieson. There were cages where sexual acts were being performed in front of audiences. If this did not sober someone up nothing would. What I was witnessing was insane…I cannot begin to describe, you know what you see on video today…well they were doing it live.

Tommy Lee was there with two girls under his arms, as was Drew Carrey, and Penn and Teller. I forget who else but there were a lot of stars there, and everyone was getting wasted at one in the afternoon and not just soft drugs….everything right out in the open. It  was the wild west and anything went. I went from P0rn Star 3779675045_c79df1c5d2to P0rn Star meeting them all and getting pictures and autographs on glossies that each entertainer handed out. Yes I have the pictures and glossies to prove it over a hundred of them. This was in the early 90’s so I was using a manual camera. Sometime I will scan them all and post them in a gallery here.

There was a rock band playing in the corner and they were doing covers of strip joint standards like Girls Girls Girls. Large glass tables with mounds of rocks of cocaine were on display for people to partake. I’m not talking 8 balls here kids, I’m talking Rolling Stones size cocaine as in a kilo. It was the most I’ve seen in my life…I was blown away. I learned that you could put this substance in just about every orifice possible to get high…no not me, in them. As I say to people of these types of experiences, welcome to mars.

Now you might be saying why on earth would you post this…it has very little if at all to music. Well as I posted silly rabbits, that this was just day one of the convention in Vegas, and Part One. Part Two will be on my adventures at the famous NAMM convention in Anaheim the following week. There was plenty of music at that event, I felt it best to set the stage of my trip in Vegas and the west coast. So stick around to see how that went.

 

Bless Bless!

Braindamage Inc.

 

CM ☕

 

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